This isn't anything terribly important, it's just something I have to write about or I'll never get back to sleep. It was a dream that was just TOO real for me. It wasn't a nightmare, but it was TOO real. :'(

I just had a dream that one of you died. Brain cancer that you battled for six years before it finally took you in the middle of the night. This is like ten years in the future I think. I wasn't there for your last breath. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, you were gone. The nurse was taking out the IV and she told me she was very sorry for my loss.

I bawled at your funeral, because I wish I would have said 'I love you' again, and because there were so many things that you had yet to see. You were going to do so many things with your dreams, I knew it. The whole scene was too freaking real for a dream. :'( I hated it. It's the times like that when I really hope that there's an afterlife so you could see me grieving over you, and know that I loved you more than 99% of the world. I loved you more than some of my family. You were my family.

I meet a guy who I feel really close to. As close to a person as I felt to you, and I told him all about you. As I talk, he smiles when I smile, and he puts his arm around me when I cry about certain memories of you. I marry him, and I have a kid by him, a little boy. You know what I named him.

But the guy develops a drinking problem. He hits me a lot. I do exactly what you would expect me to do. I divorce him. I raise the kid on my own.

Every year, on your birthday, I come visit your grave. I put a sunflower on it, because they aren't the most appreciated flower in the world. Their seeds blow everywhere and start new flowers when they germinate. You spread your seeds of wisdom as well. Sometimes I sing to you, even though I know you can't really really hear me. But most of the time, I talk about my boy to you, because I know its something you'd be interested in. He'd be starting kindergarten soon. He was wicked smart. You would have been proud of him, if you were here. I probably would have made you godparent. When I do have a kid in real life, I WILL make you the godparent. He's a special kid. I tell him stories about you, about some of the things you did when you were alive. He asked me if you were a superhero, and I said yes. Now he wants to be just like you. I guess the only step up from that would be actually having known you. He would have been lucky to.

Don't say I'm being over-dramatic. Please don't laugh at me. I just had to write about it, because I can't keep it in my head. It was just...too real.